Hey, don't puddle yourself man with all the grossing grief.. noone wants to hear too much of it but look, I feel you man. I've been placed in the same position as you about a year or two ago and my mind was capsuled with this madness that I will never be accepted among others; or feel respected like your colleagues would, but then I came across a mindset of my own that made me feel that I can be different and let noone stop me. I hid from other teenagers, and focused on helping myself and my family, even some adults I try to cater for here and there to ensure they feel welcome, and I try my best to make things happen. But hell, I know how you feel though.

I've only been banned from the Sploder Forums about a fortnight ago so I don't have much to camp on the internet besides a couple of forums on Personal E including this one (Hell, I've haven't been on the internet for over a week haha) but I try my best to manage nonetheless.

Negativity's been my furthest reach that I accumulated when I was thirteen, but hell I striked positivity after a year or two and kept it stable. Sure I had to go through the harsh way and let people still reject you or run away from you, but don't mind them morons man.. and it's experience really to assure you understand their feelings. A bunch of amatures that they won't accept you for who you are.

I mean I don't know who I am, but I'm currently trying atm. I'm trying to loosen the drama and follow the good path, give aim and straight forward decisions on the journey to feel me and not to embrace to other's negativity around you because that is merely an obstacle, stopping you from the ultimate goal, only instead the ultimate guilt that is unnecessary and should be deeply conquered by the ultimate confidence and the known that experience can guide you. Be yourself, man.. Ik how hard it sounds but.. life has its corners and surely you'll get there no matter how hard you try man

Don't feel lost for what you've done; don't be afraid to ask for help, if it is rly serious man.. ask someone. Sure one or two helps man

On the journey to ultimate acceptance despite your guilty desires and your life status, try to manage man.. I'm sure you'll make it.. stay positive man because an empty stomach ... nobody wants it man.. and sure we all need you.. as humans we need each other man.. and that's the real honor in there.. because we care man... we all have feelings too man.. if you're willing to accept it, feel free to man..
it's one of life's corners, just be brave man for whatever there is and there's the true light there.. just accept it man and time will tell the rest.